Functioning but feel detached? You might be stuck in functional freeze. Here’s how I realised & what I did about it.
I remember one morning staring at my laptop screen, waiting to join a meeting i’d been preparing for for weeks. As I sat there I remember feeling completely zoned out & detached. As people started to join I sat there notes in hand, confident voice on cue, but inside I was numb. I couldn’t process feedback, make decisions, or even remember why I was talking about masterclass training. It felt like I was just pretending but to everyone else, the show went on.
I remember feeling awful and completely exhausted after the call from trying to bring energy to a meeting I felt completely detached from. I thought it wen badly (it didn’t but in my head i messed it up). My mind was fuzzy, my heart felt distant, almost like I was living someone else’s day, i couldn't quite figure out why i wasn't able to think clearly, it didn't feel like autistic burnout and it didn't feel like overwhelm 🥲
After a few days of feeling the same i started having conversations, researching & trying to work out why i couldn’t shift this feeling. As it turns out…
I was stuck in functional freeze 🥶
“Functional freeze is a stress response where your body and mind feel utterly stuck, even when you’re carrying on with daily life. Externally, you might seem fine: you go to work, attend meetings, socialise but internally, everything feels heavy, flat, and disconnected.
It’s often described as a blend of high-alert "fight/flight" energy and shutdown. The brain is pressing the gas and the brake simultaneously. Imagine your nervous system going into autopilot under chronic overwhelm, sacrificing emotional engagement for sheer functionality.”
When I started to reflect I realised I had often found myself in a state of functional freeze feeling mentally and emotionally immobilised, yet still going through the motions of daily life. Outwardly, I appeared to be functioning: attending work, participating in meetings, and engaging socially. However, internally, everything felt flat, disconnected, and overwhelming. You can see how hard it is to explain this to someone who see’s me functioning 😫
The pressure to perform, coupled with a lack of immediate rewards, would often trigger a sense of paralysis. I would sit at my desk, staring at the screen, unable to initiate tasks or make decisions, despite knowing exactly what needed to be done. The experience was not just about procrastination; it was a deeper sense of being stuck. It was as if I was caught between the urge to act and an overwhelming desire to retreat.
My system was literally saying, “Hey, I need breathing space.” 😮💨
Recognising this pattern was the first step towards understanding it. I began to realise that this freeze response was a coping mechanism (a rather unhelpful one) that my body and mind had developed in response to stress and overwhelm.
How did I realise I was in functional freeze? 🥶
I often felt numb and detached, like I was watching myself go through the motions of daily life without truly participating. My brain would zone out, clouded by a fog that made everything seem distant and unreal. Even though I kept up with work and routines, inside, I felt stuck and drained, unable to find joy or satisfaction in anything.
Simple decisions, like what to eat or where to start, became overwhelming. I'd tell myself, "I'll just check my phone," and before I knew it, I'd be lost in endless scrolling, trying to feel something (anything). Social interactions became too much; I found myself cancelling plans, avoiding calls and messages, and seeking solitude.
Physically, my body mirrored my mental state. I noticed muscle tightness, headaches, and shallow breathing—even when I wasn't doing anything strenuous. I craved stimulation through substances or behaviours, hoping to break free from the numbness.
How did I get out of functional freeze?
I’ll be honest I’m not there yet, but realising was the first step to making little adjustments.
I started small (like a 2-minute breathing break before the fog can fully set in). I realised that movement wasn’t an option it was a necessity for me to feel more grounded so over time, I have been building routines grounded in self-care (routine with choice, not rigidity) things like prioritising gentle stretching breaks & short walks between tasks.
I have also been making notes every time I feel stuck, even if it is as simple as writing down ‘I feel stuck’ I have found that even just recognising how I am feeling in the moment I am able to give myself grace.
🌱 1. Gentle Movement
Stand up and stretch, take a slow walk around the room, or do a few yoga poses. Even a few minutes can begin to wake up your nervous system and shift from freeze to flow.
🧘 2. Grounding & Sensory Awareness
Try the “5-4-3-2-1” technique: name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, and 1 you taste. These anchor you back in the present .
Or hold a comforting object, feel its texture and temperature, and focus on being in your body.
💨 3. Deep Breathing
Practise slow, diaphragmatic breathing—inhale for four counts, hold, then exhale for four. Repeat to soothe your nervous system.
✍️ 4. Mindfulness & Journaling
Pause for a moment, breathe, and jot down how you’re feeling, even if it’s just: “I feel stuck.” Simply acknowledging the freeze helps ease its grip.
Choose tiny, easy-to-complete actions: drink a glass of water, open your laptop, move one email. These small steps can kickstart momentum .
🤝 6. Self-Compassion & Patience
Be kind to yourself—this isn’t laziness, it’s a protective mode. Use gentle self-talk: “I’m doing my best.” Celebrate each small move forward .
⚖️ 7. Meet Basic Needs
Prioritise essentials: sleep, hydration, regular meals, and wearing movement-friendly clothing. Your body needs a solid base before it can recover.
Functional freeze isn’t about laziness it’s your body’s signal that it needs space. By adding small moves, mindful pauses, compassionate care, and connection, you can gently unfreeze and reconnect with yourself. Start small; each tiny action is progress.
How (our) toolkit helped me through it 🛠️
1. Recognising My Experience
We started the toolkit with gentle guidance on what ADHD and autism might look like and yano what, even though I know this, it was really helpful to remind myself that feeling frozen wasn’t my fault. It helped me normalise overwhelm, brain fog, task inertia just as they are.
2. Practical Self-Care Tools
I revisted the pages dedicated to hydration, nutrition, interoception, and gentle morning routines. These acted like anchors when my system shut down, offering quick and kind ways to reconnect with myself.
3. Workplace Essentials
When I was trying to function but felt dissociated, revisiting the section on neurodivergence in the workplace was really helpful. It includes helpful tips, boundaries templates, and language for requesting adjustments everything I needed to navigate the freeze and speak up for my needs.
